A cucumber and a pickle were having a conversation.
The pickle said to the cucumber, "I got it bad man, everytime I get big, fat and juicy I get seasoned and put in a jar."
The cucumber said to the pickle, "Well everytime I get big, fat and juicy I get chopped up and out over salad."
The penis walks by and overhears them and says, "I got it worse than you both. When I get big, fat and juicy I get put in a dark, smelly room and they make me do push-ups till I throw up."